Dear Fatass

We all love your pretty smile, and your pretty face. We all think you're a little cute, and I'm sure if you had added me to your friends list, you would be in my poll, and you would definitely beat Qasim. (even though he cheated his way into winning!)

But this really doesn't mean that we fancy you. You really should not use your smile to get dates with us, because a cute smile is NOT enough to impress a girl.

Like that time you met that Peruvian girl on the train, and things did not work out, how do you think it ended before it started?

Or, when you went on a date with that girl from Oxford? Oh, I think you went on a second date too, but it didn't work out again, did it?

Or that huge crush you had on the Persian girl?!

We have a suggestion for you. We think you should stop being so big headed, and actually listen to the girl you're with, impress them, and maybe act a little shy? We kind of like that!

And one other thing you could do is, stop using the name "Pharoah" to write insulting comments to me, they will never get published!

Oh, and maybe stop being so stingy, and once in a while, spend some money towards your date!

TA TA
XXX

photo taken from http://www.thumbtackpress.com/browse/images/bobdob0008.jpg